


M is for Midgard

by VeryImportantDemon



Series: The Road Less Travelled [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Road Trips, Thor is a little shit, hitchhikers - Freeform, i just wanted to do something happy, its not explicitly mentioned but I see Skinny Steve, like 2012 Avengers fandom kind of shit you know, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-26 04:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19760608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryImportantDemon/pseuds/VeryImportantDemon
Summary: In the midst of a heated car game, Tony picks up a hitchhiker.





	1. Dramatis Personae

**Author's Note:**

> I found this half written in my old notebook app I was cleaning out before deleting it and I felt the need to share

** Dramatis Personae **

Anthony Edward ‘Tony’ Stark (An MIT graduate who doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life)

Thor Odinson (Norse, very large, very enthusiastic)

Steven Grant ‘Steve’ Rogers (A very small artist, wants to write comic books, does things just because he can)

Clinton Francis ‘Clint’ Barton (Deaf, doesn’t know what’s going on at any given moment in time)

Natalia Alianovna ‘Natasha’ Romanova (Russian, one of the few brain cells on the trip)

Samuel Thomas ‘Sam’ Wilson (Loves birds, has a brain cell)

Wanda Marya Maximoff (Serbian, favorite color is red)

Victor ‘Vision’ Shade (Also goes by Vizh, on the spectrum, an engineer, has a brain cell)

Philip J. ‘Phil’ Coulson (Doesn’t know why he agreed to this, history major, don’t ask what the J stands for, has two brain cells)

James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes (Has one arm, doesn’t have anything better to do)

Robert Bruce Banner (Homeless, debating whether or not he was kidnapped)


	2. Dramatis Personae

"M!"

  
Tony jerked the wheel of the modified minibus. "What the fuck?" he said, turning around to look at Thor. The bus, which Natasha, Wanda, and The Boys[1] had nicknamed JARVIS, was currently in the middle of nowhere. So, there was absolutely no way Thor had found an M. They hadn't seen any other cars in 20 minutes on their way to their next destination. There were barely any signs, and none of them had Ms on them.  
  
Steve snorted. "Tony," he began. "Language!" From the back of the bus, Coulson passed up a peanut butter jar with a lid on filled halfway up with change. Tony, without looking away from the road, fished a quarter out his pocket and handed it back. Steve, who was sitting closer to Tony, unscrewed the lid and dropped the quarter in before passing it back to Coulson[2].   
  
"Sorry not sorry," Tony said, "but seriously? We're in the middle of Nowheresville, upstate New York! Where the hell did he see an M?"

Thor straightened up in his seat, beaming. "Midgard!" He declared happily, proud of himself. "Midgard starts with an M!"  
  
Tony groaned loudly, slamming the back of his head against the seat. "Oh my god," he said. "Natasha, your call. Do we count it?"

The redhead popped her gum, tilting her head and thinking for a moment. "I'll take it," she said. “This time.”

Tony huffed indignantly. "Fine, fine... Another point for Thor... Who's keeping score?"  
  
Sam put his phone down, taking an earbud out. "Did I hear Thor got another point?" He picked up the notebook beside him and scratched another tally under Thor's name. "That makes... 4 for Thor, 4 for Viz, 2 for Tony, and 3 for Coulson." He stuck the pen back in the spiral binding of the notebook on the bus seat beside him.  
  
The layout of the bus was peculiar. Two bus seats lined each of the walls. The center floor was carpeted. Up front, behind Tony's seat, was a big cooler and a cardboard box they filled with snacks. Stuffed under the seats in the back were a few pillows and blankets for nights they might decide to sleep in the bus.  
  
"That's bull-"  
  
"Stark," Coulson warned.

"... Feces," Tony finished. Coulson nodded and crossed his legs, going back to his book[3]. “I can't believe I'm still losing," he muttered. He sighed again and directed his gaze to the road. "Why did we think this would be a good idea?" he said out loud.  
  
Clint smiled, standing up from where he was sitting next to Sam and plopping down in front of Natasha. She didn’t bother looking up from her phone, her hand instantly seeking out his soft, sandy blonde hair and running her fingers through it. "Hell if I know, man," he said. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Travel around America in a bus with our only friends..."  
  
"Speaking of travel," Tony said suddenly, "look! Two roads! Vizh[4], which one do I take?"

Vision looked up and scanned his map. Most of them had tried to convince him to use his phone - he was technologically more adept than most of the squad, definitely more than Clint who could barely get his phone to turn on - but Tony wanted them to have an 'authentic experience', so he was using a paper map. "Please take the right turn when you approach the fork in the road,” he said.

Tony nodded, preparing for the turn. "Left turn? I heard left turn."  
  
Wanda piped up from where she was sitting against Vision, messing with his nails. "He said right turn, Stark."  
  
Tony nodded decidedly, jerking the wheel to the left and taking the left road. "I heard left turn." 

Wanda pulled a hangnail off before speaking. “Steve, can you drive? Please?"  
  
Steve shrugged, smiling faintly. "It's his turn," he said. "We have a schedule. I have to let him, at least until we get into the next state."

Natasha paused for a moment, thinking. "We could plan a mutiny?" she said thoughtfully.

Tony hummed happily to himself, leaning over and turning the radio on. He slapped the dial, setting it to a random station. "It's poetry in motion," came the crooning voice from the radio. "She turned her tender eyes to me, as deep as any ocean!" Tony sang along.  
  
Coulson heaved a sigh[5].   
  
"As sweet as any harmony," Tony added, tapping his foot slightly to the beat of the song. "Mmm... But she blinded me with science! She bl-" Tony stopped dead. "Guys, oh my god. Look."  
  
Sam took one headphone out, shifting his weight which woke Bucky, who made a sad-sounding noise[6]. “What's up?" Sam asked.

“Look!" Tony said excitedly. "A hitchhiker! I didn't think they actually existed!"

Natasha heaved a sigh again. She turned around and kneeled on the bus seat, peering out the window. There was indeed a man[7] walking alongside the road alone, hands stuffed in his pockets. His black hair was curly and messy, and he looked all around kind of... Sad. He didn't have anything with him but the clothes on his back. “Tony, don't pull over. He might be a serial killer," Natasha said.  
  
Tony snorted. "That's bullshit," he said. "That's probably just a myth. I'm going to pull over and give him a ride." Without looking up from his book, Coulson put a hand up and caught the quarter thrown at him and put it in the peanut butter jar.  
  
Tony twisted the wheel again and let up on the gas, slowing to a stop. The messy-looking guy with the black hair frowned slightly, taking a step back as Tony hopped out of the seat and pushed the door open.  
  
"Hey!" Tony said cheerily, leaning out of the bus. "You should probably get in."

The curly dark-haired man took another step back, his eyebrows knitting together slightly. "Uh... No, thanks? I'm fine."  
  
Tony shook his head. "Nonsense," he demanded. "You most definitely need a ride and I will take you there."

The man shook his head slightly. "I don't know where I'm going," he said. "And even if I did, I don't know you. You could be a serial killer." 

Tony grinned. "Nat said the same thing about you." He paused for a moment. "I'm Tony Stark," he said, sticking his hand out. "Now we're not strangers." 

The man reached out, hesitatingly, and shook Tony's hand. "Bruce," he said. Just as he was about to retract his hand, Tony pulled him forward. He was forced to bounce up the steps with him to avoid colliding face first with them.  
  
Tony closed the door behind them, pushing Bruce forward. "Hey, guys!" he said.  
  
"This is Brucie, he's our new friend."

‘Brucie' looked incredibly uncomfortable with the whole thing because he was. "Um... Hey?"

Tony continued, steamrolling his new friend. "Like I said, I'm Tony. There's a lot of people here, so we won't get mad if you mix the names up a little. That's Natasha by the window with the gum." She nodded slightly. "The girl is Wanda, that's her over there. There's a lot of testosterone in this bus."  
  
Wanda inclined her head slightly in greeting.  
  
"That's Sam and Bucky over there. Bucky’s on the ground, he and Sam are dating. It's nauseatingly cute sometimes."

“What?” Bucky said sleepily. Sam gave him a fond smile but rolled his eyes, too.

"Clint and Nat are, like, attached at the hip, by the way,” Tony added, pointing at the sandy-blonde haired man now draped in Natasha’s lap. “They've been best friends since forever and a day and they’re dating.  
"Steve is the perfect blonde over there,” Tony continued. “He's perfect and somehow still single. We're not quite sure how."

Steve smiled slightly. "Welcome aboard," he said. "I'm sorry about Tony, by the way..."  
  
"The taller blonde with the long hair is Thor. He's like a gremlin; don't feed him sugar after midnight. He's incredibly enthusiastic about everything under the sun and talks like Shakespeare writes, complete with dick jokes.” 

Thor beamed happily. "Greetings, friend Bruce!" he called.

Tony winced. "And he's loud..."  
  
Tony drew in a breath before speeding forward on the introductions.  
  
"Vision is Wanda's boy toy," he began. "He's our navigator whom I often ignore. His name's not really Vision, but we call him Vision anyway. Or Vizh, because two syllables is two too many." The man-in-question peered up from his map where he was recalculating their route and nodded.

"Second to last is Coulson. He's the oldest one here, I think. He's kind of the adult supervision on this little excursion." 

Coulson curiously surveyed Tony's newest acquisition. "Hello," he said politely. He rose and shook Bruce's hand before returning to his seat[8]. 

"And very last," Tony said, "but certainly not least is JARVIS."

Bruce frowned slightly, scanning the interior of the bus. "But there's no one else," he said slowly. Tony nodded eagerly. "That's right, new friend. JARVIS is the bus."  
  
Bruce smiled faintly for what was the first time in quite a long time.  
  
"Well, thank you for introducing me to your friends and showing me your bus, but really, I should be going," Bruce said, inching towards the door.

"Nonsense," Tony said. "It's gonna take you forever to get anywhere walking. At least let us take you to the next city we're stopping at."  
  
Bruce hesitated, chewing his lip. "Um... Alright," he conceded. Wherever they were going it had to be a better place than where he'd come from.

“Yay!" Tony cheered, clapping. "New friend! Have a seat, socialize. Get to know the team.”

Bruce hesitated, glancing over the bus. He chose a seat next to Coulson. “Uh… Hi,” he said.

“You’ll get used to them soon enough,” Coulson said. “They’re… Characters.”

“What’s the deal with this… Road trip?” Bruce asked curiously.

“Tony’s a trust fund baby who finished MIT early and wanted to take off into the night,” Coulson explained. “So he bought this thing, modified it, threw us all in it, and now we’re going wherever it is we go.”

“Huh,” Bruce said. “And you…” He trailed off. “Trust him to drive it?”

Coulson shrugged, glancing back down at his book and turning the page[9]. “We take shifts,” he explained. “Rogers is up next.”

“Oh,” Bruce said, and he settled in for whatever would happen next, which happened to be Thor shouting. 

“N!” he declared.

Tony huffed, snacking his hand on the steering wheel. “No fucking way,” he said. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. Where could you have possibly found an n?”

Steve dug into his pocket, finding a quarter and passing it to Coulson wordlessly.

“Nothing,” Thor said proudly and Tony groaned.

“Point Thor,” Sam said as he marked it in his notebook[10].

1Natasha would like it to be made known that she had never agreed to the name. Wanda would like to state the same.[return to text]

2Whenever one of them did something annoying or swore, they added a quarter to the jar. At the end of the year, Tony took Coulson out to eat with the money they'd made.[return to text]

3He was reading Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch.[return to text]

4Vizh wasn't his real name, of course, it was a nickname of a nickname. His name was Victor Slade but they called him Vision, and then shortened that to Vizh because sometimes two syllables is too many.[return to text]

5He was beginning to regret coming with them. He was a history major, for Christ's sake. He wasn't equipped to deal with this. Well, he was the best one for the job, anyway. No one else would do it.[return to text]

6He had been asleep this whole time.[return to text]

7This man was Bruce Banner. He was coming from somewhere and headed to nowhere.[return to text]

8Bruce was pretty sure he liked Coulson. Coulson seemed normal.[return to text]

9It was page 98, where Crowley and Aziraphale realized they had made a mistake but were in too deep to correct it. Coulson felt a little like that sometimes.[return to text]

10That brought the current score to Thor: 5, Tony: 2, Coulson: 3, Vision: 4.

**Author's Note:**

> You guys better have liked the fuckin footnotes bc it took me 80 years to figure out how to code them right


End file.
